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By the time …

~ by the time ~ ©Thesunsetgirl.Com

~ by the time ~ ©Thesunsetgirl.Com

My cousin died last Tuesday.

It is as simple as that to many people but us because of so many reasons.

First of all, he was too young to go – 32 years old. Even his parents decided to delay the time of his funeral (this Saturday) just so we can spend more time ‘being with him’.

Needless to say, this is one of the most challenging weeks I have ever had.

Second of all, he left his wife with four children and the youngest is still a baby. For the most time, I didn’t know what to say at first to support his wife.

Well, I didn't even know what to think. There is this huge 'WHY' circling inside my head!

I know he made a lot of mistakes in his past and he had to be responsible to each and every one of them. However, death was surely never one of the options! Everybody was caught by surprise when we heard the news on early Tuesday morning.


My first thought; I wish life had given him another chance.


The toughest part of his passing is what we learned later on. It turned out that he had known that he was going to go after visiting a doctor who told him about his illness. It was pretty bad as the results of years of addiction. He stopped being a drug addict but never gave up drinking. Instead of letting us know, he kept it for himself.


He then wrote a letter.


It was a letter for his wife, children, parents, in-laws, brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles and aunts. He apologized for all the mistakes he did in the past and for not being there to bring up his kids. His older brother found the letter one day after he passed away and read it in front of the entire families. My soul was shaken! In the end of the day, I wish HE had given himself another chance.


I am grateful, still, for having him as a cousin of mine.


I whispered farewell before going to bed last night.


I will say it out loud at the funeral tomorrow.








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  1. Goodbye Glen! :-(

  2. Life is not easy but never give up. We’ll miss him….

  3. I’m so sorry, Lus…. Hugs!!!

  4. Be strong! Everything happen for a reason. . . .

  5. Nobody was prepare for the letter… :-(

  6. Your Auntie :

    A lot of people ask the ‘why’ question…. let just accept the fact and try the best to move on…

    • There’s nothing we can do even if we get the answers to those ‘why’ questions. Thanks for being here, auntie. Hugs!!!

      • Your Auntie :

        I have to say that we fight for our children. It’s time your generation fight for future. This is the sign … no more wasting time … One more thing, I never see a photographer who cry every time she take pictures … you have a good heart Lus … HUGS!!!!!!!

        • I was not there… I got there late at night so everybody is gone… :-( Sorry, sis… When can I see the pictures? Let me know please? HUGS!!!!!!

          • Auntie, I’m beginning to think that comments from families should be moderated from now on. Really! That crying part should have been OFF the record! O_o

            Valya, I’m calling you asap. Are you off today or? Hard working at a hotel, huh? Hope you guys didn’t get lost last night. Anyway, more later…

  7. Now I understand the following blog. My condolences…

  8. I feel for you and family, Lusy. It must have been hard… My condolences again… Big hugs!

  9. Many hugs Lucy.

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