It is as simple as that to many people but us because of so many reasons.
First of all, he was too young to go – 32 years old. Even his parents decided to delay the time of his funeral (this Saturday) just so we can spend more time ‘being with him’.
Needless to say, this is one of the most challenging weeks I have ever had.
Second of all, he left his wife with four children and the youngest is still a baby. For the most time, I didn’t know what to say at first to support his wife.
Well, I didn't even know what to think. There is this huge 'WHY' circling inside my head!
I know he made a lot of mistakes in his past and he had to be responsible to each and every one of them. However, death was surely never one of the options! Everybody was caught by surprise when we heard the news on early Tuesday morning.
My first thought; I wish life had given him another chance.
The toughest part of his passing is what we learned later on. It turned out that he had known that he was going to go after visiting a doctor who told him about his illness. It was pretty bad as the results of years of addiction. He stopped being a drug addict but never gave up drinking. Instead of letting us know, he kept it for himself.
He then wrote a letter.
It was a letter for his wife, children, parents, in-laws, brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles and aunts. He apologized for all the mistakes he did in the past and for not being there to bring up his kids. His older brother found the letter one day after he passed away and read it in front of the entire families. My soul was shaken! In the end of the day, I wish HE had given himself another chance.
I am grateful, still, for having him as a cousin of mine.
I whispered farewell before going to bed last night.
I will say it out loud at the funeral tomorrow.